Word of the Week: paraprosdokian

A paraprosdokian (pronounced /pærəprɒsˈdoʊki.ən/) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.




My boss shared these today...

Paraprosdokians

1.  Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2.  The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it's still on my list.

3.  Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4.  If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5.  We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

6.  When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

7.  Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8.  Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9.  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.

10.  A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a train stops.  On my desk, I have a work station.

11.  I thought I wanted a career.  Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12.  Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13.  I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

14.  Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15.  Behind every successful man is his woman.  Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16.  A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17.  I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way.  So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

18.  You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19.  Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20.  There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

21.  I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not so sure.

22.  You're never too old to learn something stupid.

23.  To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24.  Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

25.  Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.  

 26.  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27.  A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28.  Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

29.  I always take life with a grain of salt.  Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Word of the Week: ludicrous

lu•di•crous   adj    \ˈlü-də-krəs\

stupid or unreasonable and deserving to be laughed at (Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary)

so absurd, ridiculous, or exaggerated as to cause or merit laughter (Webster’s New World College Dictionary)

1: amusing or laughable through obvious absurdity, incongruity, exaggeration, or eccentricity
2: meriting derisive laughter or scorn as absurdly inept, false, or foolish
(Merriam-Webster)

This is one of my favorite words.  Sadly it applies to a lot of things in life, and most of the time the individuals it applies to have no idea that the topic is ludicrous, much less what the definition of the word is.

Word of the Week

Achievable (adj.) - capable of being done or carried out; describes a task, etc. that is possible to succeed in finishing or reaching, especially after a lot of work or effort

Taking the CPA exam, and passing it, is possible, but getting there is a journey in and of itself.

This weekend depression reared its ugly head.  Luckily, my husband and pastor are very observant. Thankfully, my pastor also shares my personality.  Two minutes into the “how are you?” conversation at the beginning of praise and worship practice he just stops me and makes me sit down… “What’s wrong?”   Although I knew something was wrong, depression was not the word I’d used to describe it all weekend, but then again I really hadn’t come up with a word that fit.

In tears yesterday I told my husband that I knew the exam was a good investment, but I did not want life to be about the career.  I did not want accounting to be focus of the next thirty years.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love my job and thank God that he provided it, but my heart yearns for other things as well.  My level headed husband responded that taking and passing the exam did not mean that life would be about my career, and of course he’s right, but I had to voice that fear before it consumed me. 

Flash forward… the word of the week is achievable.

CPA review materials are geared for students coming out of college with the material fresh on their minds.  Seven weeks of review, at 20 hours a week, and then a 3 ½ hour test – no biggie.  Me… I haven’t studied accounting in 4 years, really 6-7 years since major study.  On top of that I’ve tried to block most of it out (which is another story). 

Starting today, I’m taking an achievable approach to this test.  I mentally can not take studying twenty hours a week while…  my house goes dirty, my husband wears dirty pants to work at least one day before I wash jeans, we eat fast food or frozen food or next nothing because there’s no thawed meat to cook.  Starting today, it’s ten hours of study a week; if I can get in more – that’s great.  The study course is seven weeks, but I have access to the website for 4 months, so I’m going to make use of it.  This means that I’ll have to move out my already scheduled test date and rearrange my other three study sessions, but that’s not failure – it’s a smart decision.  A healthy decision!